o holy night

This Christmas, my sisters, my mom, and I sang O Holy Night for a Christmas Eve service. This is one of the run-throughs during practice and is fairly decent.

During the candle-light service, we completely missed the key change. We stopped the song, refound ourselves with the piano and then finished singing...not quite the ideal performance. It was frustrating to spend several hours practicing just to mess-up in front of the live audience. However, Jesus did not come save a perfect world. He was not born to come along and say, "Good job! Keep up the good work!" [Insert thumbs-up]. Being reminded that I am not perfect, even when it is a small thing like missing a key change, helps me keep my mind on the big picture.

reality check

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

This past week has been stressful and a slight emotional roller coaster. I occasionally feel as though I am working though the Dr. Seuss book, Oh! The Places You'll Go. Orientation began with an excess of excitement.

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

 But being with seventy-two other highly talented individuals comes with more than just excitement. I have a tendency to compare myself with others--and not in a healthy way. I do not understand why, but I have this desire to be at the top of everything I try. There is an enormous difference between trying my best and trying to be the best. Why can't I be the fastest at learning Korean, the most skilled at Taekwondo, create and execute the best lesson plans, and be the greatest musician of the group?

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

Reality Check: This week, I did not perform as well as I hoped on my language quiz, I misread a schedule and wrote a lesson plan for the wrong subject, the lesson plan that I rewrote did not go as I had anticipated, and I did not wake up to my alarm for my responsibilities on Saturday. I am not the fastest student at learning Korean, I do not know the most about Taekwondo, my lesson plans and teaching still need work and there are other wonderful, more-talented musicians in this group of people.  And this reality is okay.

 Living is not about measuring up against someone else, and trying to live on an ever-sliding scale of competition is neither beneficial nor godly. Once again, I must wrestle with the fact that God is perfect and I am not. My worth is not determined by how I compare with those around me or how I perform in certain aspects of life. My value comes from the actuality that I am a fearfully and wonderfully made creation of the Everlasting God. Instead of comparing myself with others I will focus on living in the love of my Father.